Being a Woman in Cairo

June 10, 2006

It's not a topic I had previously devoted a lot of time thinking about.. but with Emily here it has taken on more urgency. I have been impressed with how comfortable it is to be married here.. it fits in with everyone's expectations and any talk about having children is warmly received. It is hard to imagine a more "pro-family" environment than this one.. nor one more protective of what many Americans hold dear.

But I witnessed the uncomfortable side on the one day that I went on a trip without Emily.. I was in a bookstore and asking an attendant about where volume three of a four volume set could be found.. when a woman, looking about college age, walked into the store. She had no head covering and wore jeans that were tight but would look quite normal anywhere in America. I had only seen her out of the corner of my eye.. and only to note that she was the likely cause of my attendant suddenly deserting me. Eventually the attendant got back to helping me find the missing volume, and as we began again to peruse the shelves, he looked out the large window, and there was this same woman.. standing on the corner with her back to us.. waiting for a car. The attendant looked back at me and stepped back for me to look at the woman.. and informed me that she was 100% Egyptian and asked me whether I liked her.. I did not understand a lot of what he was saying, but it was one of those situations where the content was clear. As she got into a private car, he watched her drive away. There was no disapproval in this attention.. it was all approval.

It seems to me that in the Middle East the onus is on the woman for how she appears. Men will stare and ogle because that is what men do. It is a given. If you are a secular bookstore attendant, you ogle the young Egyptian woman and enjoy it. If you are a conservative Muslim, you blame the woman for making you want to look at her. Either way, life is hard for the young woman.. and no wonder she gets around by private car! I think in America there is a great deal more self-censorship incumbent upon men. Ogling is plain rude.. and if you have a religious problem with the women on the street, then you should get to another street. This self-censorship is the foundation that allows for a good deal of comfort for women. If half the effort that went into covering women went into telling men not to stare.. why, it would be an easier world.